Because my life is stranger than fiction...

My friend Sally once said, “If you are going to laugh about it later, let’s just all laugh about it now.” And so, in the spirit of her advice I am recording the events of my day, so that we all may laugh about it now, together.

The morning began as all mornings do - at 5:30am. Grace, followed by Chloe, Brooke, and Elise made their way into our room to say hello. Knowing that I had a busy morning, I decided to take a walk a little earlier than usual. By 6:20 the four girls, my groggy husband, and I were out the door for our morning walk. We were greeted by a beautiful Arizona sunrise, complete with sunshine streaking through puffy clouds. Returning from our walk, I hopped in the shower, then went downstairs to make breakfast.

The American Red Cross recommends a breakfast high in protein and carbs, and low in fat, the morning that you donate blood. Exchanging my usual bowl of cereal for two eggs with cheese and cilantro, with a side of southwest hash browns, I was ready to go. I hurried back upstairs to dry my hair, quickly apply my makeup, and brush my teeth before leaving to donate blood.

As the events of our lives are all like legos, linking one to one another, so were the events of my morning. Earlier in the morning I had applied diaper rash cream to 2-year-old Brooke, threw it on the bathroom counter, and washed my hands. Now, with my hair dry and makeup hastily applied, I grabbed my toothbrush to brush my teeth. I glanced at my watch, calculating that I would have just enough time to do the girls' hair before rushing out the door. I remember thinking as I brushed that the toothpaste didn’t taste as minty as the kind I usually used. Nor was it as foamy. So what would any logical person do? "Stop and check the toothpaste tube," you are thinking. Ah, but the key word there was logical, not what would a harried mother of four do… Any frantic mother trying to get out the door would do what I did - grab the tube and add more, which I did. I brushed some more, spit, and rinsed. Only then did I notice the tube of Desatin lying on the counter.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” I exclaimed. “Brad, I’m late for my appointment. Can I use your toothbrush? I just brushed with Desatin!” My husband, trying rather unsuccessfully to contain his laughter, graciously let me borrow his toothbrush.

I rushed out the door, and made it just in time to my appointment at the blood drive. As the woman was asking me questions, I reflected on the fact that I felt nervous, and we hadn’t even gotten to the vein poking part yet. She slid the thermometer under my tongue and said matter of factly, “You’ve got a fever.” “No I don’t,” I replied with complete confidence. After all, I didn’t feel hot. “How do you feel?” she asked me. My stomach felt a bit queasy by this point, but I didn’t know if this was because I had eaten four times my usual amount of breakfast, brushed my teeth with Desatin, or was simply nervous about giving blood. So I did what any rational person would do and told her nothing. Unfortunately, I was not able to give blood. I was really disappointed, and came home to share that with my family.

When I mentioned to my husband that my stomach felt a bit queasy and I was running a fever, he went straight to the bathroom to examine the tube still laying on the counter. The next thing I know, he is on the phone with the Poison Control Center, explaining to the very helpful lady at the other end about my experimentation with Desatin. She calmly assured him that the fever had nothing to do with my hasty choice of toothpaste that morning, and suggested I try brushing again with another brand, such as Crest or Colgate.

Both my parents and my husband tried to convince me to spend the day resting, but that seemed silly because I felt fine. At one point I was heading to the store to pick up some final ingredients for dinner, and Brad questioned me. “Are you sure you feel up to going? How do you feel?” I replied that I felt the same as I did every day, which made me wonder how many days I have, in fact, had a fever!

I share all this to warn you. If you are a parent, never, ever leave a tube of Desatin on your bathroom counter. Especially a white Desatin tube with a picture of a minty looking leaf on it, but which is actually a picture of aloe. As the well-trained lady at the Poison Control Center aptly suggested, “Stick to Crest or Colgate.” And finally, I share this because I’ve laughed harder today than I have in a long time, and I hope that my story will make you laugh, too. After all, as Sally said “If you’re going to laugh about it later, let’s just all laugh about it now.” Laugh on, my friends!